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  • Deviant since May 21, 2006, 1:45 PM
  • Subscribed until Oct 8, 2008, 5:30 AM
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Its Not Over

Journal Entry: Mon Jul 14, 2008, 10:09 AM
Its Not Over


You think you know how its happening, you're dealing with it, getting over it.
You couldn't be further from the truth.
You can kid yourself and your feelings but really they will be sparked. You can ignore it but then something happens that makes you think
Shit
I got this wrong.
So totally up the creek without a paddle and Im about to drown sort of shit.

My poor lil brother broke up with his girlfriend who he adores and it then made me think of my own previous relationship.
Hm.

Sy and myself were talking and we just sat there sort of crying with each other.. was really horrible and things like that really make you realise some details that you actually to be perfectly honest would rather have kept deep deep down and not have realised.

"If I had my way I wouldn't get of bed and I would just cry"

The words were out of my mouth before I could have stopped them and as soon as they tumbled out, as did the tears. Many salty tears that I thought I had cried, along with many realisations I thought I wouldnt have.

I get out of bed and be all happy because I don't want to dwell on how I really really feel because its too much energy to be sad and like I have said in a previous journal entry I have delt with worse and self pity is not a quality I respect in anyway shape or form. So you know, all my friends may think Im okay but really... really and truly Im not.

Ive lost the person who knows me better than any one in the whole wide world knows me or ever will know me.
I cant just cut you out of my life. Ive been with you for five years some of the most amazingly-special-fantabulous times of my life and some of my worst.
I wouldnt change any of it for the world.
The majority, infact nearly all my friends thought we would have been together always, and to be fair quite a few of them believe that we will end up together one day.
I dont care that a minority thought we shouldnt be together.
If you cared, such a tivial thing wouldnt bother you and if it does... Well thats another journal entry for another time

And in reply to the text you randomly sent me at 1.15 this morning...


I miss you too.

  • Mood: Irritated
  • Listening to: Red morning Light - Kings Of Leon
  • Reading: Research material
  • Drinking: Water

Devious Information

  • Current Age: 19
  • Current Residence: Uni: Bournemouth || Home: London

Devious Comments

`zetab:iconzetab: 4 minutes 41 seconds ago
Up and down weeks, tell me about it! I hope they stay up for a while though :hug:

I'm wide awake at the moment. Let's see what mischief I can get up to :giggle:

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Zeta B.
Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.
`zetab:iconzetab: 22 hours 2 minutes ago
I'm rather sleepy :bucktooth: What about you? <3

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Zeta B.
Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.
=Demoneangelo:iconDemoneangelo: 2 days 6 hours ago
Whoa, I used to have that journal layout before the one I have now :o
:giggle: Good taste.

You were featured here. :)

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Faith in humanity points: 0 out of 365
=JoScene:iconJoScene: 2 days 18 hours ago
Thanks for the :+devwatch:!

:excited:

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d-.-b
*funkygal4:iconfunkygal4: 5 days 10 hours ago
thanks for the :+fav:

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:hexentanz: ~ check out my gallery *funkygal4 ~ :hexentanz:
*funkygal4:iconfunkygal4: 6 days 16 hours ago
lol. nvm.

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:hexentanz: ~ check out my gallery *funkygal4 ~ :hexentanz:
*Im-a-black-rainbow:iconIm-a-black-rainbow: Jul 11, 2008, 12:40:47 PM
Huh Im so confused by this comment!

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Nah Hey Hey You're Giving All Your Cinnamon Away
*funkygal4:iconfunkygal4: Jul 11, 2008, 12:26:39 PM
we can sleep tonight. hopefully. joe's got pals over tonight

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:hexentanz: ~ check out my gallery *funkygal4 ~ :hexentanz:
*Im-a-black-rainbow:iconIm-a-black-rainbow: Jul 11, 2008, 7:58:29 AM
Sleepy so very sleepy :yawn:

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Nah Hey Hey You're Giving All Your Cinnamon Away
*funkygal4:iconfunkygal4: Jul 11, 2008, 6:33:57 AM
boo

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:hexentanz: ~ check out my gallery *funkygal4 ~ :hexentanz:
*funkygal4:iconfunkygal4: Jul 9, 2008, 8:20:20 AM
i'm leaving in 10minutes lol. ive been looking at DD and favouriting some.

god i want to go back to africa. *sigh*

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:hexentanz: ~ check out my gallery *funkygal4 ~ :hexentanz:
*funkygal4:iconfunkygal4: Jul 9, 2008, 8:13:00 AM
MWAH!

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:hexentanz: ~ check out my gallery *funkygal4 ~ :hexentanz:
*lost-in-purple-haze:iconlost-in-purple-haze: Jul 8, 2008, 8:23:09 AM
I Love You Missus!

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Thou shalt remember that guns, bitches and bling were never part of the four elements and never will be.
=daisyflower2003:icondaisyflower2003: Jul 7, 2008, 12:04:17 PM
:hug: Thank you honey for the :+fav: :smooch:

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*SaveTheArtists -- Founder
#SaveTheArtists -- Chat

[link] -- My Domain!
`zetab:iconzetab: Jul 6, 2008, 4:18:24 AM
How's the idea coming along? :D

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Zeta B.
Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.
*Im-a-black-rainbow:iconIm-a-black-rainbow: Jul 4, 2008, 12:59:40 AM
Im realy sorry its taken me so long to reply to your piece of trivia, I sort of left Dev art and am now back...
Why thank you for telling me that, I like Stephen King so either way its all good!
:D

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Nah Hey Hey You're Giving All Your Cinnamon Away
`zetab:iconzetab: Jul 2, 2008, 12:02:18 PM
Back in full swing? And I'm doing pretty decent :D Still hanging in there! lol

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Zeta B.
Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.
`zetab:iconzetab: Jul 1, 2008, 7:46:26 AM
:omg: How are you doing these days? Back to dA or just a passing moment? =P

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Zeta B.
Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.
~under-the-illusion:iconunder-the-illusion: Jun 25, 2008, 7:17:58 AM
appreciate

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apparently nothing.
~YoursSincerely:iconYoursSincerely: Jun 5, 2008, 3:06:17 AM Mood: Passionate
Aw! Thank you. Thant's what I like with the photo as well. So I'm extra glad now when someone else saw it.

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:skullbones: Ellinor Nissinen :skullbones:
*funkygal4:iconfunkygal4: Jun 1, 2008, 10:40:41 AM
weeeeeeeeeeelcome back! heehee :giggle:

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:hexentanz: ~ check out my gallery *funkygal4 ~ :hexentanz:
*lost-in-purple-haze:iconlost-in-purple-haze: Dec 6, 2007, 2:30:41 PM
Hey Lovely Lady Thanks For the Favesxxxxxxxx

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Thou shalt remember that guns, bitches and bling were never part of the four elements and never will be.
*BryanBaugh:iconBryanBaugh: Nov 8, 2007, 1:11:13 AM
I have a theory that Marylin Manson actually stole the phrase "black rainbow" from Stephen King. In 1982, Stephen King wrote a famous review of the movie "Evil Dead" in which he described the film as "a black rainbow of horror". Since it's such and unusual phrase it seems fairly obvious that this must be where Manson got it from. See, I told you that was going to make me sound like a real "know it all"! But I thought since you were using the name and some people have asked where you got it from, you might like to know this weird little bit of trivia.

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[link]

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